Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
