My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
