A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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