I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
