TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
