Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Everclear isn't food dammit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
