i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
