Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
