i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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