He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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