Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
