I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
