Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
