I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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