If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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