As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
