she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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