The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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