i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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