I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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