You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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