she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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