Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
