dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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