still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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