Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
