if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
