Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So many bounce houses so little time
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
