Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
