if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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