i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
