You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
