Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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