woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
