He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
