So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
