let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
