I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
