just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
