best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
