Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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