It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
