My Higher Power is John Stamos
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
