McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
