Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
