I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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