Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
did i just pee glitter
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
