Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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