So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
