everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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